SABBATICAL NOTES. WEDNESDAY. 25 JUNE 2014. WEDNESDAY.
Next year is a prelude to 30 years of EDSA I and 30 years of nothing.
BY THE TIME that I decided to leave the life of a religious missionary, the anti-Marcos Movement had grown so strong that the prelude to the D-Day, that February 1986 event of our fear and trembling and boldness and daring, was quite clear.
It was written in the stars. Bethlehem or no Bethlehem, three kings or no three kings.
We knew that the repression had to come to an end.
Somewhere.
And sometime soon.
My vowed life was a journey of ups and downs, with most of the time a life of searching that brought me to Santa Cruz, Ilocos Sur to check the site where Father Zacarias Agatep was felled by bullets.
Other deaths and disappearances and salvagings and arrests would color our bland seminary days, when talk would come loose and we hear, in whispers, which religious convent had been ransacked by the dreaded military, and how Father Nilo Valerio was beheaded, his head and those of two others paraded, their bodies interred in shallow graves only to be stolen, and their heads nowhere to be found as well.
I do not know, however, what was the connection of the days of repression and the days of rallies and demonstrations to the upsurge of bomba films that gave every raging male some time to cool off in movie houses.
Before and after rallies that almost always ended up in Mendiola, were these raging males watching these bomba films so that when they get to the rallies, their rage had subsided and thus no longer able to think straight from the lens of their rage?
I remember that at one point, a platoon of seminarians went to one of these shows after being dismissed from their philosophy and theology classes from Santo Tomas University, and when they went out of the movie house on Aurora Boulevard in Cubao, their Father Rector, an Italian who spoke English like a Don Corleone and who sang the 'O sole mio' like all the tenors of the world rolled into one, saw all of them coming out of that movie house.
Those were the days of chaos.
We heard of a Jesuit novitiate being raided, priests being killed, church workers being salvaged, and activists disappearing like meteors in the dark days of the dictatorship.
I was young when Martial Law was declared, young even to be afraid, but I saw those bold and daring young people painting red slogans on that white capitol that housed the archives of our dream of freedom, except that the dream was but just a fossil, a skeleton, a ghost, a shadow, an illusion.
Or, black magic.
I think of the 28 years of EDSA People Power I.
I think of the memory of that courage millions were able to finally muster to say No! to that one thing that held us back from pursuing what was human and humane in those days.
I think of that wastage.
We elected presidents that did not do their job well, and we put in two presidents of the same last name, and nothing seems to have happened substantially to change this plutocracy that has been our lot since Commonwealth times, since Quezon, and since we imagined we could finally be free to run the affairs of our homeland.
I think of the same problems we have right at this time, the same family names lording it over our lives, the same characters, and the same plot of our story of sorrow and grief.
I think of all the troubles we have in education, the troubles we have in righting the wrong things we have done to our languages, the troubles we have in not recognizing our cultural diversity except as a token for the tourists who are bringing in revenues for those involved in rest-and-recreation.
Thirty years is more than a generation and we have nothing to show even if we had in 2001 another uprising, that EDSA People Power II that showed Erap Estrada the door, that first Estrada who rose from the silver screen to the palace by the filthy river, his rising to political stardom like a megastar courtesy of the votes of the unthinking masses from the rural areas, from the slums, and from the streets, the same unthinking masses that would make it sure that their idol, their Pareng Erap, would get back the glory and the power as Manila's mayor until kingdom come.
So now I ask: Is there hope at all for the homeland?
FELIPENAS/
Feast of Saint John, 25 Jun 2014
Next year is a prelude to 30 years of EDSA I and 30 years of nothing.
BY THE TIME that I decided to leave the life of a religious missionary, the anti-Marcos Movement had grown so strong that the prelude to the D-Day, that February 1986 event of our fear and trembling and boldness and daring, was quite clear.
It was written in the stars. Bethlehem or no Bethlehem, three kings or no three kings.
We knew that the repression had to come to an end.
Somewhere.
And sometime soon.
My vowed life was a journey of ups and downs, with most of the time a life of searching that brought me to Santa Cruz, Ilocos Sur to check the site where Father Zacarias Agatep was felled by bullets.
Other deaths and disappearances and salvagings and arrests would color our bland seminary days, when talk would come loose and we hear, in whispers, which religious convent had been ransacked by the dreaded military, and how Father Nilo Valerio was beheaded, his head and those of two others paraded, their bodies interred in shallow graves only to be stolen, and their heads nowhere to be found as well.
I do not know, however, what was the connection of the days of repression and the days of rallies and demonstrations to the upsurge of bomba films that gave every raging male some time to cool off in movie houses.
Before and after rallies that almost always ended up in Mendiola, were these raging males watching these bomba films so that when they get to the rallies, their rage had subsided and thus no longer able to think straight from the lens of their rage?
I remember that at one point, a platoon of seminarians went to one of these shows after being dismissed from their philosophy and theology classes from Santo Tomas University, and when they went out of the movie house on Aurora Boulevard in Cubao, their Father Rector, an Italian who spoke English like a Don Corleone and who sang the 'O sole mio' like all the tenors of the world rolled into one, saw all of them coming out of that movie house.
Those were the days of chaos.
We heard of a Jesuit novitiate being raided, priests being killed, church workers being salvaged, and activists disappearing like meteors in the dark days of the dictatorship.
I was young when Martial Law was declared, young even to be afraid, but I saw those bold and daring young people painting red slogans on that white capitol that housed the archives of our dream of freedom, except that the dream was but just a fossil, a skeleton, a ghost, a shadow, an illusion.
Or, black magic.
I think of the 28 years of EDSA People Power I.
I think of the memory of that courage millions were able to finally muster to say No! to that one thing that held us back from pursuing what was human and humane in those days.
I think of that wastage.
We elected presidents that did not do their job well, and we put in two presidents of the same last name, and nothing seems to have happened substantially to change this plutocracy that has been our lot since Commonwealth times, since Quezon, and since we imagined we could finally be free to run the affairs of our homeland.
I think of the same problems we have right at this time, the same family names lording it over our lives, the same characters, and the same plot of our story of sorrow and grief.
I think of all the troubles we have in education, the troubles we have in righting the wrong things we have done to our languages, the troubles we have in not recognizing our cultural diversity except as a token for the tourists who are bringing in revenues for those involved in rest-and-recreation.
Thirty years is more than a generation and we have nothing to show even if we had in 2001 another uprising, that EDSA People Power II that showed Erap Estrada the door, that first Estrada who rose from the silver screen to the palace by the filthy river, his rising to political stardom like a megastar courtesy of the votes of the unthinking masses from the rural areas, from the slums, and from the streets, the same unthinking masses that would make it sure that their idol, their Pareng Erap, would get back the glory and the power as Manila's mayor until kingdom come.
So now I ask: Is there hope at all for the homeland?
FELIPENAS/
Feast of Saint John, 25 Jun 2014