SIGNOS, 1
On July 24,
one week before Dr Julius died, I took a United Airlines flight from Hong Kong
and bound for San Francisco. I just came from the Philippines to fulfill our
obligation to start a graduate program in Ilokano Studies of which Dr Julius is
an adjunct faculty. By then, Dr Julius was fighting for his life, but those
close to him were in denial, and that included me. Some two months before that,
we spent three days together in the Philippines attending the 11th
Nakem Conference. On the first night of the conference, some 12 of us were
singing our hearts out, doing that karaoke many Ilokanos are fond of until we
all got tired. That is how I remember him: alive, filled with energy and hope,
singing, and singing his heart out. On my way to San Francisco, I took that
United flight, and two hours in mid-air, the pilot announced that something
went wrong with the plane, and that we were heading back to Hong Kong. If not
for this cool and calm and collected way of this pilot, we all could have perished.
I think of this now, and this could be a signos:
a person takes your death, and he dies for you. That is Ilokano, that thought,
so Ilokano. Did Dr Julius take my death? Did he die for me, on my behalf? I
remember this in terror now, and I can only bless my ading, Dr Julius.
1
Saanka a
napasag
sika a
pinasag dagiti bangungot,
adingko,
kabsat, kadua.
Ketdi, pinasagnakam
ti beddeng
dagiti
mortal a bagi
kas iti
mortal a kararua
ngem ti
espiritu ti imbag
kas iti
lagipmi kenka
ket kas iti
singising
iti amin nga
agsapa.
Anaraar
daytoy ti dara a kari,
nalabaga,
napnuan anges,
pumsuak
kadagiti amin
nga urat iti
puso ken iti panunot
tapno daytoy
ket agbalin
a bisibis
iti rekkarekkang a daga,
ditoy man
ili
a
nakaisadsadan
wenno iti
ili a nakaibatian
ti kakaisuna
a kadkadua.
Mapanka nga
agdaliasat
iti bangir
ti bagi ti danum.
Awit-awitmo dagiti
amin
nga engkanto
ti sao
kas iti
balikasmo kadakami
amin nga
inka
pinanawan
tapno
iti
eternidad ti panawen
ket sadiayka
nga innakam
ikararagan.
2
Agtanamitimka
kadi
kadagiti makapaungar
a sao,
dagiti
mangted kadakam
iti namnama
a kasukat
dagiti amin a sennaay,
danag,
aripapa, limdo, dagitoy amin
iti idda
dagiti suero ken agas,
iti
makasabidong a lua
iti ipupusay
iti nasapa
a bigat a ti
bannawag
ket nagabay
unay.
Kasukat
dagitoy dagiti saning-i,
mangngeg man
wenno
im-impen
tapno ti
barukong laeng ti agkuti,
wenno ti
agsalloy nga abaga,
wenno ti
agkuppit
a karirikna
tapno aglusdoy
dagiti amin
a regta,
agsalakan
dagitoy kadagiti anghel
dagiti tagainep
a sadiay ket
kaduadaka.
Iti sumuno a
lubong
ket ti arkos
a
bullalayaw,
sika a
nagawan
tapno
agsubli
kadagiti
amin nga ipupusay,
sika a
pimmusay
tapno
agungar kadagiti amin
nga
agkabannuag
kadagiti
nasged a tarigagay.
Imbatim,
kabsat nga adi,
dagiti
tulag,
baro ken
duogan,
ket iti
isemmo nga adda
iti kanvas
ti parparmata
ket ti
agnanayon a sika
a kadagiti
aldaw
ket ti daton
nga arapaap.
3
Sagpaminsan
a dumteng dagiti aripapa,
ngem ania
ngarud ket iti law-ang
dagiti kas
kenka
ket ti
manglaglagip a dakami,
aminkami nga
imbatim tapno agatang,
agayab iti
pannangan,
sumaren
dagiti amin a leksion
a panarita
ti panaglangan
kadagiti
ragragsak.
Timudenmi
dagiti sumuknal a timek
tapno iti
tangatang nga ayan
ket ti
bilinmi kenka
a dinakam
liplipatan.
Ketdi,
ibagam kadagiti bituen
a kaadayuan
a sadiay ti universo
nga iti
rumbeng a panawen
ket ti
pagsasarakan.
Immortal
dagiti kaasim,
ket ngarud,
adi a kabsat,
kabsat a
kadua,
laglagipem
ti uppat a kararuam.
Itedmi kenka
ti sensilio
tapno
bayadam
ti
mangitunda kenka
iti sabali a
biag,
sabali ta
sadiay
ket adda
pammakawan.
2. SIGNS,1
1
You were not
felled
by
nightmares,
younger
brother, colleague.
Instead the
boundary
of this
mortal body
like the
mortal soul felled
but the
spirit of good
like our memory
of you
is the sun
rising
in all
mornings.
This is the
glimmer
of that
blood
of promise,
red, alive,
springing
forth
from all the
veins
of the heart
and the mind
so that
here,
this is the
sprinkling of light rain
on the
cracked earth,
the earth in
the homeland
where we
have left our doubel
or over here
where we
have come.
You will get
to crossover
to the other
side
of the body
of water.
You will
bring with you
the
enchanting word
like yours,
the one you
left with us
so that
in the
eternity of time,
there, there
you will utter
a prayer for
us.
2
You will say
in silence
the words
that make us live again,
those that
will give us hope some more,
those that
are proxy to our pain, fright, fear,
and this
sorrow,
all these on
your deathbed of dextrose
in that poison
of tear in your passing on
one early
dawn
when the
morning came late.
These take
the place
of all muffled
cries
whether we
are able to hear those
or are kept hidden
in the chest
that flattens,
in the
shoulders that droop, or
in those
feelings
that
dissipate all our strength,
all these
that seek refuge
in the
angels of our dreams
where there,
they are with you.
In the world
hereafter
is the
rainbow
with its
riotous colors,
you who have
left us
so that you
can return
to all forms
of passing on,
you who died
so you will rise again
among the
young
of our
glowing, fire-filled vision.
You left
behind, younger brother
of our
covenant,
old and new,
and in your smile
that in that
canvas
of what we
form in our mind’s eye
is the you
that will no
longer die
that, in the
days ahead,
is your gift
of a dream.
3
This terror
without any name
sometimes
come visiting us,
but in the
far reaches of a universe
of those
like you
are us who
will remember you
for always,
all of us
you left behind
so we can do
the food offering,
all of us
who ask you
to partake
the meal with us,
sum up all
the lessons
from the
verdict
of skipping
some joys.
We are going
to hear your voice
that will
visit us
so that in
the heavens
where you
are
is our
pleading:
Do not
forget us.
Instead, you
please tell
those
farthest stars
that in the
appointed time,
we will be
find each other.
Your
kindness is without end,
and so,
younger brother and colleague,
please, please
your four souls
you must
always remember.
We give you
the coins
so you can properly
pay
the boatman
who will bring you
to the
afterlife,
another life
where there,
forgiveness
abounds.
